Dillema

I don't know if I should steam my user or fry her in hot oil. How can she tell me she don't know who changed her template (insert nonchalant tone). It is like telling me she don't know who dyed her dog black. If I am a user I will be over IT and the BA demanding answers, swearing retribution to the one who dare to touch my correspondence without my permission. I will bring down the curse of 9 generations on them. But this user......I don't know if I should applaud her or appalled at her attitude.

Me :

Toilet Kungfu

This post is dedicated to all the ladies who practices shaolin squat over the toilet seat.

Do not ever EVER practise your shaolin kungfu in the toilet until you have perfected the art of hovering and aiming with precision at home. Else you are the very reason why you do what you do, not to mention causing other people to spawn alternative methods like lining the toilet seat with paper to counter your inefficiency.

Service

I don't use a mouse unless it's a desktop. Many thought I 'keh kiang' but I do without a mouse for the simplest reason. There wasn't enough space on the table. (Cheh......). However many of my colleagues can't live with the mouse. Since they spent more than 8 hours a day at work, the mouse is like the third hand. Many people have been perplexed, flummoxed and stunned to discover the absence of mouse when they try to interact with my laptop even Helpdesk whom you thought should be more savvy. Most of the time I am secretly amused, even sympathetic towards their confusion and in order not be blacklisted by Helpdesk, I introduce the Visitor Mouse!

I am infra-red and I come with my own scroller!

Many colleagues were impressed when I bring out my Visitor Mouse from the drawer to ease their burdened minds. Good customer service they said. Lately in order to upgrade my good service to AWESOME service I.... no I didn't upgrade the mouse to blue tooth, don't mengada. For awesome service, I introduce the Visitor Mouse sidekick.....(drum rolls....), ta-da - the Visitor Pad....

Abandon and adopted by me

You would thought people are happy enough with the mouse. However, there are some dinosaur out there who has to have a pad to operate the mouse. It's like saying I can't drive if there is no car mat in the car. Anyway I don't mind that much cause it make me laugh so much to watch people's expression. Don't you think so?

Curse of the 土地公 (Earth God)

Some 2 days ago got a message from Cousin Rain. She got food poisoning. Naturally I was very concerned as I had a similar experience some time ago. Cousin Rain said she vomited everything out including the banana that she ate during lunch. I suspected it is a bad banana but Cousin Rain got her own theory.

She said, " I think it's because I took the banana from the prayer altar without asking permission from the 土地公. It is revenge.."

Me: Vomit blood.....

Suicidal I am not..

Lately very into this new app game introduced by a colleague of mine which shall now be known as Totoro. Totoro also very into apps game and every evening after work on the dot 6pm, we will update each other on the numerous game progress that we are currently playing. How cool is that!

No, it's not the babe...

As the name suggest, it's a game where you build land, army, weapons and earn lots and lots of money so that you can build more land, army, weapons and it goes on and on and on. I earn money by going into battle and quest. Going on quest means I left very little to guard the house and a few lazy good for nothing players come and assassinate my staff....eh, sorry army and steal my moolah and they do it multiple times. My hard earn sweaty need to walk around the house to find reception so that can fight in quest MOOLAH.. Gr...! Want to bite their stinky lazy butts.

Now you know why people suicide when their weapons went missing in RPG games. Actually meant for this to be short and sweet but once start scolding cannot stop...hahaha.

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*Blog dedicated to Tapir, the daily updates with Totoro reminds me of the sweet o' MUD times that we had.

Respect Thy Elderly

That day we went and queue for the famous Lao Ban Tau Fu Fa. There were 30 orders and 4 of us ladies decided to go and carry it back. Tauke pack in 5s so each one end up with at least 1 pack of 5s and some with 2 packs of 5s. I was one of those taking 2 packs. One of the ladies volunteered to help carry for me. Perplexed I ask her why. She look like disambar petir and pause like 10 seconds (**insert cricket sound....). After that she said,' because I want to respect the elderly..'

Me: *disambar petir.....(**insert cricket sound)

Sprained

On Thursday night, I sprained my collar bone muscle while washing my hair. No idea how it happened or why it happened. The result was pain around the collar bone area when I am in certain positions (stop the evil thoughts). It become so unbearable that I asked Moo to tampal Salompas for me on Friday night. She said,' Huh, I never use this stuff one. I though it's for aunties...'

Me : What the....

New Project

It all started when the sales staff said, everything is 40 - 45% wor, don't you want to take a look? Gone case...

Bunny not included

From this excessive shopping spree a new project is born - Project Paper Attack. If you get something from me, it means the project is successful. Of course Moo made me promise to slap her if this project is not executed. Ha ha ha...!

Am I exhibiting hints of shopaholism?

Exercise

I don't know how she does it. I went gym again today. How can my PM make me go gym without seemingly making me. Lucky she is not my mum or else....

Anyway, after a few times going to the gym I confidently step on the weighing machine to find..... I am heavier by 2kg.

Me: It's the muscle, it's the muscle, it's the muscle, it's the..... argh~ 

Drove to desperation

My PM is a healthy person. After I told her we have a gym downstairs, she has been going very frequently which makes me very guilty for not going. To elevate my guilt I try to find out the days she doesn't go gym.

I asked on weekdays, she goes, I asked her on weekends, she goes. I asked her when we had to work so late and reach home after 10pm, she goes. I asked her when she had to cook for the lot of us and spend the whole day preparing, she goes. I asked her when she is not feeling well, she goes.

Finally I asked her to tell me which day she does not go to gym so that I can asked her that day just so I can hear her tell me she is not going, thus elevate the guilt.

She said, ' You so cute...'

5000 vs 500

High five!

This is my hand.

Last weekend, I saw some nice cherry tomatoes selling for 400 won per 500 gram. I show the lady my hand (yes above) and said 500g. Lady look at my hand and with eyes shining start shoving tomatoes into the plastic bag. I end up with 2kg of cherry tomatoes for 5000 won (appx RM10.00). Some more gave me thumbs up.

Anyone want cherry tomatoes? Do you have any idea how much is 2kg? Show you all next time.

Oops

We were working our way into late morning when 031 suddenly jumped and exclaimed he just realize he left his iphone at home. After a round of consolation from all of us, he calm down and continued working. 10 minutes later, he jumped again cause he remembered iphone was left in the bathroom. I immediately asked him why would he bring his iphone into the bathroom where it is wet and there is possibility that it will fall into the hole where your ............um pooh goes.

He got this weird look on his face when he answered, " I was reading something."

Me : Sometimes I ask questions too fast... ugh

Transformers

It was fate that I went back to Lion City just in time to watch Transformers. Thanks to Moo, I get to have a movie outing cum meet up with buddies. While we were trading stories on transformer, one of my buddies said, " I remember there was one called Bubble Tea right?"

Autobots, transform!

Me: Later, she amended to say Bumble Tea..adoi....~

Century Egg

War of souvenir

This is a century egg.

It's a souvenir from Taiwan.

Do not underestimate this egg. Our Taiwan colleague that is going back this weekend has orders for 85 biji-s (plural ma..) and about 20 salted eggs. Do not ask about the salted eggs.

Me : I wonder if custom will block him or not...

The old cucumber

I know most Koreans are slim but I never thought their old cucumber also.....

I must have look real stupid holding the old cucumber with a disbelief look at the mart. I even checked the label to make sure I am holding what I think I am holding and not some wrinkled german sausage.

Me : Lucky it still fit into my laptop bag.

Coupon Storage Board

This is a cork board.

It is full of stamp cards. The type that you can accumulate stamps and exchange for freebies.

Many establishments, mostly F&B will have this service where customers can stick their unfinished stamp card and eliminate the problem of Ops-I-forget-to-bring-my-card. I think this is one of the best inventions after delivery service.

Me: These Koreans can be pretty smart sometimes.



Super star

To continue the friendly competition of souvenirs from hometown, I give you Lau Tuck Wah Durian and Wong Fei Hoong Peanuts. What next? Ip Man potato chips?

Me : Nowadays....

Safe Food

Was waiting for Cousin Rain outside the toilet and to kill time I stare idly at this vending machine and it made me drop my jaw.

No it's not the condoms. It's the food they sell together with the it. I am not sure if I want to eat the food out of this machine.

Revenge of the Cleaning Lady

The other day there was a crisis in my apartment. The toilet paper ran out and the cleaner forgot to replace. Lucky can still use tissue paper. To prevent further crisis I call Housekeeping and ask them for a toilet roll. The next day I found 3 rolls of toilet paper on the bathroom counter.

Me: I think the Cleaner beh song me.

Happy Zhong Festival

After the accident of leaving 6 pomelos at home during New Year (which resulted in my family hating pomelo now) I was real careful to check the fridge before I leave. Despite that I still forgot to bring my Nyonya Dumpling from Lion City. Now I am dumpling-less on Dumpling Day.


BUT Luck has it, my Taiwanese Colleague bought me a dumpling from his hometown. Lucky I still have a dumpling after all.

Happy Dumpling Festival everyone!

Karaoke

In the spirit of immersing ourselves in the Kimchi culture, Rain and me decided to go Karaoke. We are suppose to go to the famous Karaoke that Kim Sam Soon went. Unfortunately due to my famous sense of direction or the lack of it, we end up at some Karaoke that we found somewhere. .
Despite everything we were very excited until we saw the remote control.

You'd think they are asking me to fly a spaceship.

Me: Control Tower this is CX123 ready for takeoff, over.

Eaten Sock

The other day Rain found a note in her shoe.

All things can happen in the Palace

After I stopped laughing, I gotta admit, they are honest people. Anyway, the pink sock came back the next day. Maid manage to recover it from the bowels of the vacumn. Eek. I guess we have to boil it in hot water and nuke it in the microwave to make sure it's disinfected.

Oven II

The in-coming oven resulted in a lot of complicated reaction and beyond the scope of this blog. The Kangaroo entourage touched down Saturday and has already started the food orgy and shopping spree. Curious I asked Cow about the oven. Surprisingly it didn't make the journey to hometown. Why geh?


Cow said, " Mum told aunty that the oven will be tax by custom.."




I love my mum!

Oven

The house was pretty excited with my uncle's impending visit from Kangaroo Land. This time the family matriarch decided to tag along. Uncle said she is bringing a gift along.

It's an oven.
A big oven that can cook a big big big turkey.

Uncle explained ' Your grand-aunt said - Might as well make use of the baggage allowance of 30kg.'

Me : Oh God.....

Fat

Cousin Rain 's mum said she met Cousin Storm in the market and Storm mentioned that she had a chat with Rain over the web call. I 'ke poh' asked what they talked about here.

Rain said, ' Storm told my mum, Rain is well and Piggy is fat.'

Me : I think she meant I am well geh.....(-__-")

Pajamas

Was rolling on my bed in my aunty pajamas, preparing to sleep when I suddenly remember I promised my colleague (next door) that I will clear his fridge for him as he was called back to Lion City for a period of time. Currently room was being occupied by Thai colleague. Lazy to change clothes, I just called the room. When no one picked up, I assumed she is not back yet, (don't ask why I never thought she was sleeping). I plan to rush in and out under 10 mins, so I grab a shopping bag, didn't even put on slippers and burst out of my room to find colleague standing in front of her room preparing to tag in.



Me : Dunno who more surprise... her or me

Change channel

Not long after Cousin Rain came, she had a web call with the family at home to show them, she is still in one piece - safe and sound. They had a loud and warm reunion. For the occasion, brother Thunder hooked up the TV as monitor so that the old folks, dad and mum can see Rain clearly. It was a tearful and joyous moment.

Aunty, not wise in the way of cyber technology, asked Brother Thunder, ' Later, can change channel or not ar? Don't wanna miss the 8pm drama ler.'

Speak up or not

On the way to Coffee Shop Prince's coffee shop in Hongik University, Line No 2, in the packed train, Cousin Rain and me were day-dreaming lost in our individual Iphones, when suddenly I sit up straight. Look up, down, left right.....pause..... then I told Cousin Rain, I wish I can speak Korean. Naturally she asked why.



I told her, ' Cause I wanna tell the aunty in front that she has been flashing her pink panties at me for the last 5 stations,'

It's one of those aunty underwear, cotton and cover the entire ass up to navel.

Of Potatoes and cleaners

With Cousin Rain staying for a spell, she is in charge of all household activities like cooking and washing. One day while she was rummaging the fridge, she asked me, 'Why is the potato in the fridge?'
.
I told her,'Don't laugh but I don't trust the cleaner, scare she do something to it,'
.
Cousin Rain gave me the beh-tahan-look.

Cousin Rain did her first grocery shopping yesterday. She was quite worried that she bought the wrong thing, so we communicate via Whatasapp all throughout her shopping expedition until she reached home. While putting away the food, suddenly she exclaimed,' Crisis, get back to you later..'. I got shocked, what crisis? Thought of a lot of worst scenarios like injured by knife etc. Some more she no reply me for more than 1/2 hour. Almost wanted to call her, but then she replied me ,' Got problem putting the celery into the fridge, it's too big, might need to break in half'

Me: I thought wat....






Celery will be cooked tonight...

Repeat Thyself

Since I landed in Kimchi Land many people like to ask me this question, ' Korea got a lot of spicy food ka?'. Usually I would tell them Korea food are almost all spicy and therefore the question should be,' Korea got non-spicy food or not?'. At this point most will give me the standard ,'Orh...' but one gave me this,' Then, Korea got a lot of NON spicy food ka?'

Me: *strangle self with mouse*

Mute

Yesterday we went to Seoul Tower. Planned to go there and see sunset but we got lost and end up there at night. Sun has already set but the night scene was Superb! Magnificient! We felt that the pictures we took don't do it justice so we decided to record a 360 degree view. Happily we went around the observatory recording and narratting. After that we decided to check our video and found that, the view was great but the sound was, '... ...(insert flying crow)'.

Then Rain exclaimed,' Aiyak, mute the camera adi...' and she wanted to do the whole thing again.

Me: huk huk.....

Direction Idiot

To prepare for Cousin Rain's arrival, I consulted a senior on the best possible method to travel from airport to the apartment. Despite my very 'strong' argument to come and fetch her from the airport, Cousin Rain's stronger protest over-ruled me. So we agree to meet at the bus stop closest to the apartment. The entire discussion took around 2 weeks, which I hemmed and hawed to my colleagues on why Cousin Rain don't let me come and fetch her. They also don't understand until my senior said, ' Aiya the Cousin probably more scare she get lost on the way to the airport lor..'

Me : Huh, don't give me face one..

Match

I was surprise to know that our apartment actually provide cooler services. You can have a water cooler installed and refill is 5000 won per time. For a while we debate the merits of having a cooler versus boil your own water. Those who don't install this service is mainly due to low water consumption except for one senior.

He said, ' Not that I don't want to install, but it doesn't match the furniture...'

Me : Some people are just perfectionist...

Assume Not

Most seniors pool cab together to share the cab fee. Although I can well afford to take cab, I hardly take cause I usually turn green colour by the time I reach my destination. Yesterday while I was working overtime, Senior come and ask me to go home together. Since I know he take cab, I though he need someone to car pool back. Reluctantly I agree. Barely survived and almost hurled out my entire tea time snack on the taxi floor by the time I reach my destination. When I asked Senior how much for my share, he said, "Oh, no need lar. I can claim."

Me : I should have ask......

Bad for health

They are many smokers and coffee drinkers in this project no matter which country they are from. Thus they like to go to the Starbucks at the next street to buy coffee at the same time steal a smoke. Today only left one senior as most were off site, thus I have decided to accompany him to get his Starbucks and shorten my life inhaling 2nd hand smoke on the way. When he is preping his starbucks, pouring milk and sugar, I handed him the straw so that he can stir the drink. Later he threw away the straw. A bit preplexed as I usually saw them drinking from the straw later on, I asked why he threw it away.

He said," It's plastic, bad for health."

Me: of all reasons....

Over...

Almost everyday I will see this aunty diligently hand out pamphlets to hordes of working crowd near my office. Yesterday was no exception. The pamphlet was on some health products. Not interested, so I just smiled at the lady and went inside office, boot up my laptop and start work. Soon I was lost in my own world....but not so lost until I didn't notice someone trying to put something on my table. Quick glance and it's the VERY SAME pamphlet that I saw this morning, slowly inching its way onto my table. Wat the...........I look up and saw the very same woman downstairs standing next to me, trying to put the phamplet on my desk and at the same time pretending she is invisible.

Me: Said phamplet is still on my desk if anyone want to have a look...

Up and Down

Now that the weather is warmer, we start to lower the thermostat in the office. But everytime we turn it down, the Koreans turn it back up.

We complain, 'Bloody Koreans..'

They complain, 'Stupid foreigners..'

Ah~the dynamics of a multinational team.

First blog

Unfortunately it's a test blog.. ha ha ha